Lucky Me
I got coffee before work today with three friends, Jake, Nate, and Alex. As I was sitting outside of Starbucks, listening to them talking, I realized something.
I was sitting with three incredibly handsome men. All of them, unconventionally hot. They all have long, pretty hair, handsome faces, great bodies... women react to all of them.
And I was sitting there, chatting away, not really thinking about it. And I remembered being a teenager, and how intimidated I was by beauty. I did NOT understand women who could be casual around hot men. I turned into a gibbering wreck around people I found attractive, both men and women. I also avoided their company at all cost. Nobody likes acting like an idiot, and I was especially prone to constantly regurgitating embarrassing moments late at night. So, I just avoided it.
It got me thinking about what the turning point was for me. And I think, though I could be wrong, it must have been when I started having sex. Jake’s a lovely, lovely man. When I first met him that was what both drew me to him and repulsed me. He was TOO pretty, so I avoided him. When we started dating, there was a sense of “What the fuck is this hot person doing being attracted to me???” It took me a long time to get over my self-consciousness about my own un-attractiveness around him. But get over I did.
And since then, I’ve been surrounded by beautiful men who are FAR prettier than I am, and I don’t even think about it. I’m not having sex with any of them, they’re all great friends, and I’m not in the least intimidated by them. This is pretty cool.
It also says a lot about what I’ve grown to be attracted to as my sexual taste matures. I LIKE bigger guys. I like burly, manly, hefty, hairy guys. I’ve always been attracted to an extremely wide range of physical characteristics. But as I get older, that range seems to be narrowing down a bit. Personality still trumps everything when it comes to what I’m sexually attracted to, but on a visceral level, I notice burly guys first (especially bearded… rowr!!), skinny guys second. Is interesting.
I was sitting with three incredibly handsome men. All of them, unconventionally hot. They all have long, pretty hair, handsome faces, great bodies... women react to all of them.
And I was sitting there, chatting away, not really thinking about it. And I remembered being a teenager, and how intimidated I was by beauty. I did NOT understand women who could be casual around hot men. I turned into a gibbering wreck around people I found attractive, both men and women. I also avoided their company at all cost. Nobody likes acting like an idiot, and I was especially prone to constantly regurgitating embarrassing moments late at night. So, I just avoided it.
It got me thinking about what the turning point was for me. And I think, though I could be wrong, it must have been when I started having sex. Jake’s a lovely, lovely man. When I first met him that was what both drew me to him and repulsed me. He was TOO pretty, so I avoided him. When we started dating, there was a sense of “What the fuck is this hot person doing being attracted to me???” It took me a long time to get over my self-consciousness about my own un-attractiveness around him. But get over I did.
And since then, I’ve been surrounded by beautiful men who are FAR prettier than I am, and I don’t even think about it. I’m not having sex with any of them, they’re all great friends, and I’m not in the least intimidated by them. This is pretty cool.
It also says a lot about what I’ve grown to be attracted to as my sexual taste matures. I LIKE bigger guys. I like burly, manly, hefty, hairy guys. I’ve always been attracted to an extremely wide range of physical characteristics. But as I get older, that range seems to be narrowing down a bit. Personality still trumps everything when it comes to what I’m sexually attracted to, but on a visceral level, I notice burly guys first (especially bearded… rowr!!), skinny guys second. Is interesting.
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