Stress

God damn, I am so fucking sick of feeling so stressed all the fucking time.

I am perfectly well aware the every single source of stress in my life at the moment is my own damn fault. It is. But I feel so helpless to get rid of them. They're so trite, too. Money, job, landlady, lovers, health... Just your everyday, run of the mill stresses that make life just unhappy enough to suck, but not unhappy enough to be unbearable.

I keep dreaming about running away. Literally. I dreamt about robbing a bank and moving to Costa Rica the other night. It was an incredibly detailed dream, and honestly, quite tempting. I just want to run away from everything, to live simply.

But that's been my MO for too long. Running away, creating a new life, and then populating that new life with the EXACT SAME things that made me run away in the first place. Fuck that. I know I have to fix that part of me, otherwise I'll be in Costa Rica and stressing about eating too many coconuts and spending too much money on rum, living with too many cats and men, and thinking longingly about moving to Australia.

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