Nobody knows it...

Right from the start... I gave you my heart!!

God, that song brings back the fucking WEIRDEST memories. The back seat of my grandmothers car, all blue velour seats and scratchy fabric in the back window well. Playing with sesame street toys while her and my mother took passive aggressive pot shots at each other in the front seats...

All these memories that no one can ever share, not really.
It's no wonder that we all feel so alone in our own heads.
You're so sure that nobody knows you. Nobody sees the real you. All we know of you is what you let us see, right?

No.
I see you, Dawnie. I see the overflowing love in your heart that you don't believe anyone will ever really deserve, that you don't know if you'll ever really deserve. I see the darkness constantly trying to creep its way in around the edges of your laughter, that overflows into your eyes sometimes even as your lips smile and your words shock us and make us laugh.
I see you constantly fighting it back. I see you consciously pulling back, pulling away so you don't hurt everyone around you with the power and strength of your anger.
I see your strength, and your fear, and your incredible, rare ability to LOVE. So much love.

I see you, but I have to wonder if I only see you so clearly because I see me. The beginnings of truly seeing someone else always seem to start with those shiny bits of ourselves that we see inside them. Those shiny little bits call to us, and we look harder. We start to build a story that makes sense to us, a story that we can easily insert ourselves into. Is that all that empathy really is, the ability to reach deep into your own memories and pull those that let us connect?

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