I woke up at 4am, thinking about the nature of evil. This after a nightmare where I was riding around in a big van in a city in Ireland with a young man, listening to him describe the circumstances of the past 2 times he wasn't able to kidnap the women he wanted. I realized that he'd pulled into a deserted parking lot just as he started to attack me. I fought back, but weakly, lethargic in the way of nightmares. And I quickly came to the realization that I was about to be bound up and helpless. I woke up as he plunged a hypodermic filled with sedative into my leg.
It was interesting more than terrifying, though it was scary. But I woke up with the Edmund Burke quote running through my mind "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
And spent the next hour or so lying in bed, thinking about what that really means. And about how we define evil in our world. How evil is active, and goodness too often passive. How accepting that truth, the passivity of good, is far too easy for a lazy person like myself. Acknowledging that I expect the good I'm allowed to do to basically come to me. And that I rarely make the effort to aggressively and actively pursue the good I might do.
I thought about how hard it is to think about all the terrible things that happen in this world. My brain forced me to imagine the terror of truly having my autonomy taken away, of being completely helpless in the face of another human beings completely selfish decisions. It forced me to acknowledge that this is an EVERY DAY REALITY for so many people. Every single day, my nightmare comes true. But, because it hasn't come true for me, it's almost impossible for me to grasp the reality of that thought, and therefore find a path towards action that alleviates that reality.
I think this all started because I was reading Obedience To Authority last night, by Stanley Milgram. And I can't read about the Milgram experiments without wondering what I would do in that situation. Who I would be when faced with the choice between disobedience and doing something terrible.
Having grown up in a religion where obedience was worshiped right alongside God, I know the desire to do what you're told at the cost of what you know to be right. It is incredibly difficult to walk away from a social pattern that causes harm, even if you see that harm for what it is.
The true terror of the Milgram Experiments isn't in how easily good people can willingly do terrible things.
It's in the infinite mirror that it holds up to our own concept of ourselves as Good People.
It's easy for me to empathize with people in those experiments who did something terrible. It's not nearly as easy for me to imagine being the one who stood up for what I knew to be right. My brain shies away from an easy acceptance of my own goodness, because I know how hard it is to actively DO good in the face of being told what to do.
My nightmare was about my own acceptance of what this man was saying to me. I nodded my head as he described his frustration in not being able to do what he wanted to these women, wanting to sooth and placate him. And when I was attacked, I couldn't move to defend myself. I could only place myself in his mind as he imagined what he would do to me. I felt hopeless in the face of evil. I placidly accepted the repercussions of anothers actions, because I felt incapable of taking my own actions.
And I woke up thinking about the repercussions of passivity, and scrambling to figure out how to not be passive in the face of such a massive concept as the terrible things people do to each other.
It was a hell of a way to spend 4am, but it's still got my mind churning. And that's a good thing. As long as the churning produces action, and doesn't just settle back down into sediment at the bottom.
It was interesting more than terrifying, though it was scary. But I woke up with the Edmund Burke quote running through my mind "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
And spent the next hour or so lying in bed, thinking about what that really means. And about how we define evil in our world. How evil is active, and goodness too often passive. How accepting that truth, the passivity of good, is far too easy for a lazy person like myself. Acknowledging that I expect the good I'm allowed to do to basically come to me. And that I rarely make the effort to aggressively and actively pursue the good I might do.
I thought about how hard it is to think about all the terrible things that happen in this world. My brain forced me to imagine the terror of truly having my autonomy taken away, of being completely helpless in the face of another human beings completely selfish decisions. It forced me to acknowledge that this is an EVERY DAY REALITY for so many people. Every single day, my nightmare comes true. But, because it hasn't come true for me, it's almost impossible for me to grasp the reality of that thought, and therefore find a path towards action that alleviates that reality.
I think this all started because I was reading Obedience To Authority last night, by Stanley Milgram. And I can't read about the Milgram experiments without wondering what I would do in that situation. Who I would be when faced with the choice between disobedience and doing something terrible.
Having grown up in a religion where obedience was worshiped right alongside God, I know the desire to do what you're told at the cost of what you know to be right. It is incredibly difficult to walk away from a social pattern that causes harm, even if you see that harm for what it is.
The true terror of the Milgram Experiments isn't in how easily good people can willingly do terrible things.
It's in the infinite mirror that it holds up to our own concept of ourselves as Good People.
It's easy for me to empathize with people in those experiments who did something terrible. It's not nearly as easy for me to imagine being the one who stood up for what I knew to be right. My brain shies away from an easy acceptance of my own goodness, because I know how hard it is to actively DO good in the face of being told what to do.
My nightmare was about my own acceptance of what this man was saying to me. I nodded my head as he described his frustration in not being able to do what he wanted to these women, wanting to sooth and placate him. And when I was attacked, I couldn't move to defend myself. I could only place myself in his mind as he imagined what he would do to me. I felt hopeless in the face of evil. I placidly accepted the repercussions of anothers actions, because I felt incapable of taking my own actions.
And I woke up thinking about the repercussions of passivity, and scrambling to figure out how to not be passive in the face of such a massive concept as the terrible things people do to each other.
It was a hell of a way to spend 4am, but it's still got my mind churning. And that's a good thing. As long as the churning produces action, and doesn't just settle back down into sediment at the bottom.
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