Random Acts of Awesome

I have been taking myself WAY TOO FUCKING SERIOUSLY lately. Good lord. You can't even tell how seriously I take myself, because I don't normally write when I'm doing it. That's because I'm ashamed of how ridiculously whiny, maudlin, and god damn serious I get when I'm taking myself too fucking seriously. Ugh. It makes me want to bitch slap me. Not a good idea, by the way. Bitch slapping yourself leads to fighting yourself, and since it's a fairly even match, it goes on way too long and you end up in the hospital with bruises and broken bones that are really hard to explain. Then your current lover gets called in and looked at askance by hospital personnel, and you get lectured by uptight, judgmental women who've never known a day of hardship in their life about how your body belongs to you, and how you can make decisions that don't lead to having abusive men in your life if only you tried hard enough. Thank you, church lady. You've helped me see

I recently cut most of my hair off. It's about chin length at the moment, and kind of wild. Every now and then I run my fingers through it, and mourn the lack of length. But for the most part, I fucking love it.Took me a while, though. I've had long hair since I was 6 years old. When I was 5ish, my mom decided to cut my hair super short. She couldn't handle me sitting there with silent tears running down my face and big brown doe eyes staring at her in the mirror as she went through the daily torture ritual of brushing out my snarly hair. But, she also couldn't bear to do the cutting herself, so she had her friend do it. I'll never forget that woman. Or forgive. Aside from the fact that she was a psychotic bitch who liked to inflict pain, she had little patience for the whimpering of children. She yanked her hard bristle brush through my hair mercilessly, pulled it back into an extremely tight ponytail, and without further ado, cut through my pride and