Random Acts of Awesome

I think, sometimes, that it is just as important to be reminded of who we are not as who we are. I am not an East Coast girl. I used to think of myself as a transplant, enjoying where I live now but not truly belonging. But that doesn't mean I belong back here. I am not a perfect person. I can try to be kind, I can try to be nonjudgmental, I can do my damndest not to be cruel. But in the end, I fail sometimes. And that's ok. I am not a traditional person. Oh gods, am I not a traditional person. I don't what, exactly, a traditional person is, but I know I am not it. I love my family, I love my past, but I love me now more. I am not ok with confrontation. Apparently I have never been ok with confrontation. My mom told me a story yesterday of me being a newborn, and crying as newborns do. Except when she leaned in towards me and said Sarah, in a disapproving tone, I got huge eyes and shut up, snivelling a little but no longer wailing. Her and my dad looked at each other in

I woke up this morning thinking "What the FUCK have I done?? WHY did I say I'd stay for 3 weeks? Oh god... another week and a half to go. Maybe I can claim an emergency at home and change my train tickets." I'd say that thought process is about normal for halfway through an extended family trip for most people, wouldn't you? Right?! Right. This trip has highlighted some things for me. Some things I really, really needed to remember, to have beaten into my head. I love my folks. I really do. They're awesome, wonderful, weird, crazy people. And I'm just like them. And I love them. But. The ever present but. They are broken. And maybe I'm broken too. But I've been stitching myself back together for 12 years now, and I'll continue stitching myself back together, catching my threads as they unravel, creating a course patchwork, but always bringing myself back together. And they might not see themselves as broken. Why should they? They are ca