Random Acts of Awesome

How many people have, throughout their lives, felt greatness lurking around the corner? Always just out of reach, both reassuringly distant and tantalizingly close. How many people never quite get to meet their potential, a crush they nurture from afar, easier to watch from a distance rather than engage with in the present... I feel like a teenager. Again. Fucking thirties, man. They suck. They're both a sharp reminder that you're old enough to know better, but young enough to still desperately care. You're dealing with the concept of aging, while simultaneously dealing with the kind of emotional, hormonal shit that drove you insane when you were just hitting your teens. At least I am. I need to get laid. Holy carp, I need to get laid. But, I don't want to get laid. I don't want my comfort to spring from something external to myself. So, it won't. Not that sex is bad, not that comfort is bad. But I will not be dictated to by my sharp needs anymore. I will

Traveling was an excellent way to get out of my head. It lifted me out of myself and gave me other, much more interesting things to focus on than the seemingly eternal struggle of consciousness vs bullshit that wages constant battle in my head. Sitting still for any period of time lets that struggle come to the fore, and I hate that. But I am here, and I am happy to be here. I have plans for this place and this moment in time. Plans that don't involve constant movement. So, I need to focus on ways to get out of my head that allow me to sit still for a moment.