I went to a party last Saturday night...

Didn't get laid, got in a fight... uh huh... it ain't no big thing. 

Actually, I didn't get into a fight. But I didn't get laid, either. Not that I was expecting to! Though it would have been nice... 

Anyways. Went to a party. A Halloween party, of course. It was a Victorian theme, so I threw on some lingerie, and wore a frock coat over it. Very authentic. Eh, fuck it. It was easy. I enjoyed the party quite a bit, as I tend to do. I like parties. I get a little frantically social though, and this one was no exception. I was running around like a butterfly high on crack, making witty jokes, engaging in ridiculously deep conversations with very drunk people, then seeing something shiny and running away, leaving a general sense of befuddled well being in my wake. 

At one point I found myself out on the porch, reading peoples palms in the rain. I was a little typsy, and feeling very, very honest. As a result, Js girlfriend got told that she was basically a manipulative creature who thought she was controlled by her emotions but was really controlled by her head, and was incapable of forming close attachments due to a deathly fear of being seen for herself. But, since I was reading her palms, this was all accepted as gospel truth. She thanked me! After that, everybody wanted their palm read. Some people it was easy. I didn't know them, at ALL, and could just rattle off what came into my head without questioning too deeply where it was coming from. Scarily enough, everybody was freaked out at how accurate my readings of them were. Which mostly made me sad. People are so similar, and their paths, beginning and end, rarely differ that much. 

There were a few moments that genuinely freaked me out, though. You should never try to read the life of someone who doesn't want to see it. There was one girl who I told "You were two extremely different people in your childhood. One was the real you, and one was the you everyone saw. That changed when you were in your late teens, and you took control of your life, becoming the real you. You've since  erased that part of your life, and you've taken complete control of your emotions. You've got more control over what you feel than anyone I've ever seen. You basically created an emotional you, based purely on your strength of will. This has slowly changed as you've gotten older, and you've let lose the reins a bit, becoming more fluid and natural." We got interrupted, and I ended up not finishing. But we went out for drinks the next night, and she asked me to finish. I did, and she said "Now that you're done, I just wanted to tell you that I have major blackout issues. Most of my childhood is a complete blank to me. I have no memory of people who come up to me and say we were best friends, and I have no desire to find out why that's the case. But you freaked me the fuck out when you said what you did". o_O 

I didn't know what to say to that. We talked a bit about trauma, and what it does the brain. I recommend "The Myth of Sanity", by Martha Stout, which is one of the most helpful books I've ever read when it comes to dealing with how our past affects our present. This woman really is one of the strongest people I've ever met. She's fascinating, and all the more so now. People like that, who can just pick themselves up and create a new reality for themselves, are fucking amazing. I stand in awe of that strength.