I am trying to figure out what I mean when I say things like "This house is haunted as fuuuuuuuuck.". Which I have been doing every night, at this beautiful house with giant windows overlooking a gentle canyon. It doesn't feel like your typical haunted house. Whatever your typical haunted house feels like. Instead, it feels like the house I grew up in. It feels like there is a cocktail party going on one dimension over, and the socially awkward one of the bunch is sitting on the porch that happens to face your kitchen window, and they are watching you with a detached, happy sort of interest. It feels like the masks that cover these walls have spent so much time together that they've formed a Stitch and Bitch club, and you're the newcomer who brought banana bread that everybody else makes better. They're probably not whispering about you, but they are definitely whispering. Some houses are just haunted. Maybe not by ghosts, not by sad or angry remnants of hum...
Popular posts from this blog
Portland, how I love thee...
One of the reasons I love Portland so is much is the sky. It's always beautiful. I've always loved clouds, and the clouds here are Clouds with a capital C. Now, I love a bright, blue, clear sky as much as the next person. It's invigorating, that expanse of blue, makes you feel like you should be getting stuff done. But, since I'm not so much a getting stuff done sort of person, I prefer a sky with some it's ok to be lazy clouds in it. Clouds create a texture in that vast expanse of blue, a buffer between us and infinity. Clouds are friendly. Even when they're decidedly not friendly, when they're ominous and roiling, black and grey, crackling with tension, they're still fascinating. And in Portland, clouds have a beautiful relationship with the horizon. I remember driving through New Mexico, stopped at some rest area somewhere and looking off into the distance at the hills, watching the clouds flirt with them, coy shadows caressing warm umber like a hand ...
Life after sex
It cracks me up, and awes me a little, how much better life is after sex. I have had a deeply conflicted relationship with sex for a couple years now. I let it control me, freaked out at how easy that was, and promptly went WAY overboard in the opposite direction. I'd go for months with nothing, indulge in a furiously carnal and generally ill thought out bout with an inappropriate but easy connection, freak out again, and start the whole cycle over. The past couple of months, I've been focusing on allowing myself to make the decisions when it comes to sex. I have been propositioned numerous times, after having opened myself up energetically to the idea, and have given myself the time to think about each one. Regardless of what kind of pressure I was under, I always gave myself the time. I wouldn't apologize for it, wouldn't call myself a tease for making out with someone and then pulling back to analyze how I felt. I just took the time. And, generally, it's mean...












Comments
Post a Comment