Thankful, eh?

What am I thankful for? I'm thankful for a lot of things.

For one, I'm thankful that I'm not a complete and utter idiot. That sounds snarky, but I'm really thankful for that fact. It could have been different. I could have very easily fallen into a unquestioning sort of coma, gotten married young, had babies, stayed religious, been a part of a close knit, incredibly judgmental community...
So I guess I'm more thankful for being given the strength to walk away from that life than anything else. Thanks Mom and Dad! I know you didn't mean it to work out quite this way, but thank you for teaching me to think for myself and to question structure :).

On that note, I'm thankful for a family I can still love and respect. I don't see them often enough, but I'm grateful for the foundation of memories that's helped me become the person I am today. I've still got a ways to go, but I like who I am now. And I owe that, to a large extent, to a loving, strong family.

I'm thankful for friends. Good people who love me and help me when I let them. People who slip in the second there's a crack in my "impregnable" armor and give me as much as I'm willing to take. And who wait patiently when I realize there's a crack and throw them back out into the cold. I'm thankful for that online community which has given me so much. Including a strong sense of who I am, how to write, and how to not be a selfish, self centered little twit.

I'm grateful for my brain. I kind of love my brain. It feels like a separate creature sometimes, one I sit back and watch in awe as it runs around like a rabid squirrel, making odd connections and seeing beauty in everything. Thank you, brain, for being there. And thank you, cerebral cortex, for keeping me from being too much of a monkey. A special shout out to the parietal and frontal lobes for helping me enjoy sex and problem solving, respectively.

I'm grateful I live in a place that doesn't force me into a pattern that doesn't fit me. I'm grateful I have the freedom and opportunity to do pretty much anything I want, as long as I'm willing to push for it.

I'm grateful to be aware of the world around me. Not enough people are given the opportunity/forced to open their eyes the way I was, and regardless of how it happened, I'm grateful for the repercussions of it.

I'm grateful for beauty. The world doesn't have to be so fucking pretty. But it is, and I'm thankful for that.
As a subset of that, I'm thankful for music. God, I'm thankful for music. Those gorgeous mathematical patterns, sliding into my ears, through my brain, and straight down into my heart... How can you not be thankful for music?

Oh! I'm thankful for tastebuds and adrenal glands. What would life be like without them? To not taste coffee? To not have that multi-layered orgasmic experience, tasting first the sweetness of the sugar (what?? I like my sugar with coffee and cream), the caramel complexity of the milk, the bitterness of the coffee hitting the back of your tongue, the rush of chemicals as your body sighs in happiness? ::shudder:: I'd be sad to not have that, I tell you what.

I'm thankful to be alive, and relatively healthy, and mostly very happy, and mostly strong, and mostly emotionally healthy. I'm thankful for the people and experiences that helped me get here. I'm thankful for the complexity and difficulty of life that's given me the strength to power through anything.

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