The sweet spot

I'm at that sweet spot now, between buzzed and drunk.

Still not drunk enough to deeply regret it in the morning, but just buzzed enough to believe you don't have to care. I've started on the Absinthe, and I'm smoking a giant cigar, so the regret might still come...

But for now, I can feel just the blunted edge of shame, not the Sharp edge of self hatred.

I'm feeling like a coward tonight, and I hate that feeling. I'm brave about so many things, and cowardly about so few. I'm hiding away in my home tonight, and tomorrow I'm making a decision to not do something that I probably should.

So. Tonight I hide in the alcohol and tobacco. How very trite.

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