Isolation

Man, this stupid bullshit drama saga just keeps going. I've been writing these posts to myself for months, and very little has changed. Have no fear, self, that's about to change.

So, the worst thing about being stupid is the need to hide your stupidity from others. When this being stupid involves a man (or woman, or whatever form of sexual interest you choose) in your life, someone who's there all the time, the need to hide your stupidity evolves into isolation.
It can't not. If you're going to hide how fucking dumb your life is right now due to this person, you kind of have to hide most of your life. Moments that you don't want to talk about start getting bigger, turning into days, and then weeks that you don't want to talk about. You complain once or twice, you vent to people you trust. And then things don't change, and you feel a little stupider venting the next time. And the time after that is even worse. Very quickly, you stop venting. Because all you can think is "They must have so little respect for me right now, because I haven't changed anything."

It's not rational. Without the isolation, you'd have the strength of your friends backing you up. Without isolation, you'd have perspective to help you come to rational, helpful conclusions. You'd have the comfort of knowing you're not normally an idiot, and the encouragement to stop acting like one now.

So, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow pride to isolate us in our little bubble of misery built for two? Because we're all fucking idiots, that's why.

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