Sunshine

There is something about lying half naked in pure sunshine that reminds me of how much empty space I'm composed of. Running my hands over my sun warmed skin, smoothing coconut oil all over me... the slick barrier between my hands and my skin reminds me that there is everything and nothing always there. The dual sensation on my hands and my thighs, neither of those are real. I love that. I love being reminded that the reason I can soak so much in is because there is so little acting as a barrier between my atoms and those composing the rest of reality.

It helps, to think of my body as a loosely gathered sack of cells, composed of pure energy. What is fat, in that reality? Just more energy. Lying in the sun, I feel it melting back into me, put back into use to feed more of who I am. Yes, my cells are dying as my skin browns. Some, anyways. The rest are thriving, bouncing, dividing and gathering back together again. They are beautiful, and they are no different than every form of energy that surrounds me. It feels like the sunshine draws them to the surface, draws me to the surface. There is no part of me that doesn't strain upward, looking to be fed.

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