Dive bars
I have been thinking about my proclivity for dive bars lately. I love a good redneck bar, a good old person bar, a good ethnic minority bar. Any place I can walk into and feel slightly uncomfortable at first but, with a little work, eventually blend completely into the background makes me incredibly happy. Places where people don't want to be noticed, or at least don't need to be noticed. Every now and then you get the occasional asshole who makes a fuss, but they tend to get shut down quickly by a complete lack of regard from the regulars. These are the best people watching spots.
I enjoy spending time in bars that sell scotch you have to be wealthy by most of the worlds standards to buy. I enjoy watching well dressed people posture, and I enjoy good food and good drink.
But those places don't call to me like dive bars. They don't make me happy, and they don't stimulate me. Watching people who don't give a shit if you're watching them because they're too busy either living their lives or drowning their sorrows is fascinating. They aren't thinking about how they present themselves to you. I love that. I kind of need it, because it's all too easy for me to get caught up in the intentions of others, in the facade they need you to see, and to drown in the confusion created by knowing it's not real.
I'm careful, though, to be aware of any trend leading towards an easy reason to drink and let down my hair. The lack of self consciousness is appealing, and makes me want to connect to it. If alcohol is involved, however, it makes me nervous. I don't want to NEED anything to feel comfortable, don't want to rely on alcohol to have fun. So if the only way I can actually interact with people and have fun is by consuming alcohol, I want to avoid situations that make me feel that way. Dive bars are definitely that way. Alcohol is the glue that holds these places together. The drinks are strong and cheap for a reason. People are drinking heavily for a reason. And that reason is rarely just to have fun. It's to forget, and to stimulate, or simulate, joy.
Another thing that I need to analyze when it comes to my love of a good dirty bar is how easy it is to see yourself as a big fish in a small sea. I eventually get a lot of attention at these places. I tend to be younger than most of the crowd, and I tend to set myself up as someone not to fuck with quickly so as to discourage predatory attention. That has the side effect of seeming stand offish and, for lack of a better word, cool. People tend to gravitate towards me, to want to figure me out. And it's all too easy to let that kind of attention become more than it really is. I love affirmation as much, if not more, than the next person. I love being seen as smart, or pretty, or just plain cool. And there ain't nothing wrong with enjoying the company of people who believe these things about you. But... it's too easy to just enjoy being SEEN that way, and to lose the substance behind it. For me, at least. If I'm going to read a smart book at a dive bar, it had better be because I want to read the goddamn book, and not because I want to be seen reading the book.
I enjoy spending time in bars that sell scotch you have to be wealthy by most of the worlds standards to buy. I enjoy watching well dressed people posture, and I enjoy good food and good drink.
But those places don't call to me like dive bars. They don't make me happy, and they don't stimulate me. Watching people who don't give a shit if you're watching them because they're too busy either living their lives or drowning their sorrows is fascinating. They aren't thinking about how they present themselves to you. I love that. I kind of need it, because it's all too easy for me to get caught up in the intentions of others, in the facade they need you to see, and to drown in the confusion created by knowing it's not real.
I'm careful, though, to be aware of any trend leading towards an easy reason to drink and let down my hair. The lack of self consciousness is appealing, and makes me want to connect to it. If alcohol is involved, however, it makes me nervous. I don't want to NEED anything to feel comfortable, don't want to rely on alcohol to have fun. So if the only way I can actually interact with people and have fun is by consuming alcohol, I want to avoid situations that make me feel that way. Dive bars are definitely that way. Alcohol is the glue that holds these places together. The drinks are strong and cheap for a reason. People are drinking heavily for a reason. And that reason is rarely just to have fun. It's to forget, and to stimulate, or simulate, joy.
Another thing that I need to analyze when it comes to my love of a good dirty bar is how easy it is to see yourself as a big fish in a small sea. I eventually get a lot of attention at these places. I tend to be younger than most of the crowd, and I tend to set myself up as someone not to fuck with quickly so as to discourage predatory attention. That has the side effect of seeming stand offish and, for lack of a better word, cool. People tend to gravitate towards me, to want to figure me out. And it's all too easy to let that kind of attention become more than it really is. I love affirmation as much, if not more, than the next person. I love being seen as smart, or pretty, or just plain cool. And there ain't nothing wrong with enjoying the company of people who believe these things about you. But... it's too easy to just enjoy being SEEN that way, and to lose the substance behind it. For me, at least. If I'm going to read a smart book at a dive bar, it had better be because I want to read the goddamn book, and not because I want to be seen reading the book.
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