It's hard to not be a bitch sometimes
It really is. I'm sure it's true for everyone, every now and then. But I go through these phases where I find it remarkably hard to contain the bitchy, petty little thoughts that go through my head.
And it's not just a matter of containing them. I don't want to harbor them. I don't want to give them real estate space in my brain. And I don't, normally. Feeling bitchy is a pretty sure sign that I'm unhappy. Because what is bitchiness? It's bitter, and it's greedy, and it's narrow minded. Being bitchy means I have a hard time seeing other people being happy.
So. Why am I feeling bitchy lately? Partly because I'm not doing what I want to/should be doing. Actually, I'm not sure what I want to/should be doing. That's frustrating. And grating. Like nails on a chalkboard for me. Bleargh. I'll figure it out soon enough. And in the meantime, I'll stop being this petty, bitchy person I don't particularly like.
I walked into Sushi Ichiban the other day, to meet my brother for lunch, and a little girl came running up to me the second I walked in the door, throwing her arms around my legs. I had NO IDEA who this child was, or who she belonged to. She was just a random little toddler in a restaurant. I stood there with my hands raised in the air for a good 5 seconds, staring down in horror at this lamprey suddenly attached to my legs. I looked around the restaurant, looking for the toddlers parents, with hands still in the air, and eventually caught site of them, sitting right in front of me, nonchalantly continuing to eat their sushi while halfheartedly gesturing to the little girl to come back and sit down.
Jesus christ, people. I'm a fan of not terrifying your children with talk about stranger danger, I really am. I don't think kids need to be terrified of any human who isn't related to them. Fuck, if statistics are right, children shouldn't be scared of anyone EXCEPT family, since that's who's most likely to hurt them.
But letting your kid run rampant through some restaurant downtown, attaching herself to strangers??? That's taking lackadaisical to whole new levels.
I reached down, patted the little girl on the head, and tried to detach her hands from around my calves. She was having none of that. She looked up at me, gave me a toothy grin, shoved her face into my thigh, and solidified her death grip on me. I started talking to her at this point. "Sweetheart, you're very cute, but you need to get back to your parents. I'm hungry, and my brother is waiting for me".
No response.
At this point, I'm wondering if she's handicapped in some way, or slightly autistic. I'm also feeling thoroughly helpless. I don't want to pry too hard, but it's going to take the freaking jaws of life to detach this child from me. So, I start walking. I shuffle forward a step or two, and she's THRILLED with this new game. She's laughing, and I can't help but start laughing cause she's so damn cute, and me laughing encourages her resolve to not let go. Everyone in the restaurant is staring at us, this tall, gothy looking woman with her hands in the air, shuffling forward with a giggling toddler attached to her legs. I finally look her mother in the eyes and say "I'm going to pick her up now, ok?". The idea of her daughter being picked up by a stranger was apparently enough impetus to get her off her ass and heading in our direction to rescue me. Or her kid, more likely. The little girl sees her mom heading in our direction, lets go of me, and takes off across the restaurant, laughing maniacally, with her mom sauntering after her, telling her to come eat.
The child spent most of the rest of their meal wandering the restaurant talking to people. Her parents spent most of the meal sitting down, enjoying their sushi, occasionally getting up to shepherd the kid back to eat some more sushi.
She was a cute kid, but damn. I can't imagine being so unconcerned about my childs behavior, and interaction with strangers. People are weird.
And it's not just a matter of containing them. I don't want to harbor them. I don't want to give them real estate space in my brain. And I don't, normally. Feeling bitchy is a pretty sure sign that I'm unhappy. Because what is bitchiness? It's bitter, and it's greedy, and it's narrow minded. Being bitchy means I have a hard time seeing other people being happy.
So. Why am I feeling bitchy lately? Partly because I'm not doing what I want to/should be doing. Actually, I'm not sure what I want to/should be doing. That's frustrating. And grating. Like nails on a chalkboard for me. Bleargh. I'll figure it out soon enough. And in the meantime, I'll stop being this petty, bitchy person I don't particularly like.
I walked into Sushi Ichiban the other day, to meet my brother for lunch, and a little girl came running up to me the second I walked in the door, throwing her arms around my legs. I had NO IDEA who this child was, or who she belonged to. She was just a random little toddler in a restaurant. I stood there with my hands raised in the air for a good 5 seconds, staring down in horror at this lamprey suddenly attached to my legs. I looked around the restaurant, looking for the toddlers parents, with hands still in the air, and eventually caught site of them, sitting right in front of me, nonchalantly continuing to eat their sushi while halfheartedly gesturing to the little girl to come back and sit down.
Jesus christ, people. I'm a fan of not terrifying your children with talk about stranger danger, I really am. I don't think kids need to be terrified of any human who isn't related to them. Fuck, if statistics are right, children shouldn't be scared of anyone EXCEPT family, since that's who's most likely to hurt them.
But letting your kid run rampant through some restaurant downtown, attaching herself to strangers??? That's taking lackadaisical to whole new levels.
I reached down, patted the little girl on the head, and tried to detach her hands from around my calves. She was having none of that. She looked up at me, gave me a toothy grin, shoved her face into my thigh, and solidified her death grip on me. I started talking to her at this point. "Sweetheart, you're very cute, but you need to get back to your parents. I'm hungry, and my brother is waiting for me".
No response.
At this point, I'm wondering if she's handicapped in some way, or slightly autistic. I'm also feeling thoroughly helpless. I don't want to pry too hard, but it's going to take the freaking jaws of life to detach this child from me. So, I start walking. I shuffle forward a step or two, and she's THRILLED with this new game. She's laughing, and I can't help but start laughing cause she's so damn cute, and me laughing encourages her resolve to not let go. Everyone in the restaurant is staring at us, this tall, gothy looking woman with her hands in the air, shuffling forward with a giggling toddler attached to her legs. I finally look her mother in the eyes and say "I'm going to pick her up now, ok?". The idea of her daughter being picked up by a stranger was apparently enough impetus to get her off her ass and heading in our direction to rescue me. Or her kid, more likely. The little girl sees her mom heading in our direction, lets go of me, and takes off across the restaurant, laughing maniacally, with her mom sauntering after her, telling her to come eat.
The child spent most of the rest of their meal wandering the restaurant talking to people. Her parents spent most of the meal sitting down, enjoying their sushi, occasionally getting up to shepherd the kid back to eat some more sushi.
She was a cute kid, but damn. I can't imagine being so unconcerned about my childs behavior, and interaction with strangers. People are weird.
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